Topics in this digest: Ki Tetze 5764
By Rabbi Dr. Barry Leff
"You must have full and just weights and full and just measures if you are
to endure long on the soil that the Lord your God is giving you " (Deut.
25.15)
The Hebrew reads “even shleimah v’tzedek,” a weight that is full and just.
Isn’t this redundant? If your weight is a full measure—if your one pound
weight weighs a full pound—isn’t that just? And what do full and just
weights have to do with enduring long?
The Talmud (Bava Batra 88b) explains that it’s not enough to have a full
measure. It’s not enough that your one pound weight weighs a full pound.
If you are shopkeeper measuring out goods to your customers, the Talmud
tells us that your one pound weight should weigh a little bit more than a
pound. You are required to give the customer a little something extra.
It’s not enough, God forbid, that you don’t cheat your customers—you have
to tilt the scales slightly in the customer’s favor.
This teaching applies not only to shopkeepers. We all “weigh” other
people all the time. We can’t help making judgments about other people.
We judge their appearance, we judge how they interact with us. This
week’s Torah portion can be applied not just to our business dealings, but
also to our interpersonal relationships. When we “weigh” other people—when
we judge their actions—we are should go beyond being perfectly fair.
Rather, we should judge people favorably.
There is a beautiful story from the Talmud about the virtues of judging
others favorably.
Our Rabbis taught: The one who is dan l’chaf zchut—the one who judges his
neighbour in the scale of merit—who gives others the benefit of the
doubt—is himself judged favourably. Thus a story is told of a certain man
who descended from Upper Galilee and went to work for someone in the South
for three years. The day before Yom Kippur the worker asked the owner for
his pay: “Pay me so I can go and support my wife and children.” The owner
said “I don’t have any money.” OK, maybe he’s having a little cash flow
problem. So the worker says “Give me produce.” “I don’t have any”
answered the owner. “Give me land.” — ‘I have none.’ ‘Give me cattle.’ —
‘I have none. ‘Give me pillows and bedding.’ — ‘I have none.’ So he slung
his things behind him and went home with a sorrowful heart. What would
you think is going on here? Would you assume that the owner was messing
with you?
After the Festival his employer took his wages in his hand together with
three laden donkeys, one bearing food, another drink, and the third
various sweetmeats, and went to his house. After they had eaten and drunk,
he gave him his wages. The owner said to the worker, “When you asked me,
‘pay me,’ and I answered you, ‘I don’t have any money,’ of what did you
suspect me?” “I thought, Perhaps you came across cheap merchandise and
bought it so your cash was tied up.” “And when you asked, ‘Give me
cattle,’ and I answered, ‘I have no cattle,’ of what did you suspect me?”
“I thought, maybe those cows on the property have been hired out to
others.” “When you asked me, ‘Give me land,’ and I told you, ‘I have no
land,’ of what did you suspect me?” “I thought, well, maybe he leased the
land out to others.” “And when I told you, ‘I have no produce,’ of what
did you suspect me?” “I thought, Perhaps they are not tithed (the “taxes”
had not been paid, and you were not allowed to distribute produce until
the taxes had been paid).” ‘And when I told you, ‘I have no pillows or
bedding,’ of what did you suspect me?” “I thought, perhaps he has
sanctified all his property to Heaven (donated all his property to the
Temple).” “By the [Temple] service!” exclaimed he, ”it was even so; I
vowed away all my property because of my son Hyrcanus, who would not
occupy himself with the Torah, but when I went to my companions in the
South they absolved me of all my vows. And as for you, just as you judged
me favourably, so may the Omnipresent judge you favourably.”
This is a cute story—but I’d like to take it to the level of tachlis, the
real thing. It’s not such an easy thing to do to judge other people
favorably. Our tendency—especially if, like me, you grew up in a city
like New York—is to be suspicious. We tend to the opposite of this
teaching: instead of judging others favorably and giving them the benefit
of the doubt, we often tend to assume the worst.
I’m asking you, the people in my new community, to apply this principle to
everyone in your life, and especially to me. It’s not easy to pick up and
come into a new community as rabbi. Everyone here knows who I am—I’m your
rabbi. But with nearly 500 families, there are something like 1500 people
who have some sort of association with this institution—so it may take me
a while to get to know everyone. If I don’t remember your name, or I
don’t reach out to you personally, please give me that benefit of the
doubt—and understand that it’s not because I don’t care about you, but
rather it’s because there are a lot of you! And please approach me: I’m
happy to talk with anyone, to meet with you individually to get to know
you.
If you see some things have changed since I’ve arrived, and you’re not so
happy about the change, again, give me the benefit of the doubt regarding
the reasons for the change—and come talk to me about your concerns.
That same section of the Talmud with the story about the worker also has a
story about a rabbi. The scholars once needed something from a noblewoman
with whom all the great men of Rome used to hang out. The scholars said,
‘Who will go?’ ‘I will go,’ replied R. Joshua. So R. Joshua and his
disciples went. When he reached the door of her house, he took off his
tefillin, entered, and shut the door in front of his disciples. After he
came out he descended, went to the mikveh (had a ritual bath, something
which in those days men would do, among other times, after having had
sexual relations), and learned with his disciples. R. Joshua said to his
disciples, ‘When I removed my tefillin, of what did you suspect me?’ ‘We
thought, our Master reasons, "Let not sacred words enter a place of
uncleanness".’ ‘When I shut [the door], of what did you suspect me?’ ‘We
thought, perhaps he has [to discuss] an affair of State with her.’ ‘When I
descended and had a ritual bath (something that in those days would have
been required of men after having sexual relations), of what did you
suspect me?’ ‘We thought, perhaps some spittle spurted from her mouth on
the Rabbi's garments.’ ‘By the [Temple] Service!’ exclaimed he to them’,
‘it was even so; and just as you judged me favourably, so may the
Omnipresent judge you favourably.’
It is especially important that we dan l’chaf zchut, that we judge others
favorably, this time of year, as we approach Rosh Hashanah, the Day of
Judgment. If we judge others favorably, we can tell God, “hey God, give
me a break, I gave others the benefit of the doubt, you can give me the
benefit of the doubt too.” Whereas if we judge others strictly, the
Midrash says Satan will encourage God to judge us strictly too.
We can see that if God judges us favorably, we are likelier to end up in
the Book of Life—we will “endure.” But there is a further connection
between the end of the verse, which says we will endure long on the soil
God gives us, and judging others favorably.
Judging others favorably is part of a theme that appears in several places
in this week’s parsha: that we should be kind and generous. If you see
your neighbor’s animal go astray, you should not hide your eyes: you
should take care of the animal, and make an effort to return it. And not
just animals, but any lost object. We are also commanded in this week’s
parsha that if your neighbors ox or donkey fell under its load, you are
commanded to stop and help your neighbor get his animal back on its feet.
The equivalent today would be if you saw someone had a flat tire, you
should stop and help them fix it.
Last week’s parsha contained commandments that related to being
financially generous—to giving money or crops to poor people. This week’s
Torah portion contains commandments to be generous in spirit—to judge
others favorably, and it contains commandments to be generous with our
actions, to make an effort to return lost objects and to help someone who
is having problems on the road.
Amazingly, it appears there is a real, scientific connection between being
generous in this way as we are commanded, and “enduring long on the land”
as the verse promises.
A study was done two years ago by Dr. Stephanie Brown of the University of
Michigan which showed that people who gave emotional or practical support
to relatives, friends, or neighbors, were half as likely to die in a given
period as compared with those who gave no support to others. Her study ran
for five years and included 423 married couples, and she corrected for
other factors like age, sex, smoking, drinking, exercise, etc. After
considering all the variables, a very strong link was found between being
giving—being generous of spirit and deed, as we are commanded in this
week’s Torah portion—and longevity.
Take care to dan l’chaf zchut, to judge others favorably, and to help
others, and not only will God judge you favorably, but you will be given
more time on this earth to do your good work!